


That One Time Darcy Lewis Might've Fucked Up (She's Sorry)

by electricalsquid



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Darcy Lewis's Taser, F/M, Jotun!Darcy, Jotun!Loki, New Writer, Other, Sorry Not Sorry, Tony Stark Is Not Helping, When has tony stark ever helped, Why Did I Write This?, Why has no one done this idea before, Yup i suck sorry again, and fluff, tasertricks - Freeform, we love tony stark anyway tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-20 02:57:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17014296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electricalsquid/pseuds/electricalsquid
Summary: Sometimes, Love isn’t about choosing when or where or who or why, it’s about the choice that, yes, maybe, just maybe, love isn’t about finding the perfect 'if’, it’s about finding the perfect ‘when’ and the perfect window to throw yourself out of and hope someone cares enough to be there to catch you when you fall.Sometimes, love is simply the relief you feel when your stomach stops dropping, and you open your eyes to the realization that someone did care enough to catch you when you fell.Sometimes it just leads to pain, physically and mentally.Darcy couldn't decide which path she was on.





	1. Chapter One: Darcy hates being cold

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was rudely woken up by my muse and my plot bunny, who told me I should write an Jotun!Darcy AU, because literally no one has done this and they need to. Lucky for you guys, I'm here! Hence, my 3:AM writing. Hope you enjoy
> 
>  
> 
> hey you guys! So I'm taking a short hiatus from this fic, because of personal reasons and also because my muse for darcy/loki is kinda dead ;-;  
> I also changed my username from MischiefsGoddess to electricalsquid so don't be confused at that.  
> Hope you guys understand and thank you all so much for all the kudos and comments

Darcy Lewis trudged through the deep, white, powdery snow, and wished for the fifth time that she hadn't been forced to come on this stupid trip. Or at least have thought to bring warmer clothes. What with all the snowflakes swirling around in the tumultuous wind, Darcy was this close to just falling down, face first into the snow, and declaring herself dead. However, she knew it she did that, then Jane would be forever lost to Science! (Yes, you can hear the capitals) and forget to eat or sleep and eventually die, all because Darcy couldn't walk for three miles. So, she stumbled on.

'Hey, Jaaaane?' Darcy called, as she tripped over a chunk of ice, glaring evily at the innocent-looking rock. 'How close are we, again? Cause I really don't think I can go much longer..' She trailed off meaningfully, and sighed when, instead of Jane, Tony Stark answered. Darcy had liked pretending that the arrogant billionaire wasn't with them, but to no avail. 'Don't worry, Intern,' Tony yelled, and she could vaguely see the dark blob that she assumed was Stark, 'I can carry you if you decide you can't walk anymore.' Was it a testimony to how whacked up her life was that she could tell Tony was leering at her rack?

Probably.

Darcy flipped him off even though she knew it was pointless, because the raging winds that were making it near impossible to hear, were also impairing her ability to see, and she was pretty sure if Darcy couldn't see her own hand in front of her face, Tony couldn't either. 'I'll tell Pepper, you know I will!' She screamed, hoping he'd hear her, even though she couldn't really tell Pepper, because that lucky woman got to stay on earth.

And now, Jane decided to pipe in. Nice, Jane. 'Tony, Darcy, please. I didn't bring you two just so you can fight incessantly.' She scolded absentmindedly, shaking one of her devices that did something-or-other. 'Yes, Man of Iron, Lightning Sister, please,' Thor said admonishing them gently, his deep, booming voice carrying well over the howling winds. 'Let Jane concentrate.'

 

Darcy gaped. Well that answered her question on which side Thor was on. Not that she should be surprised, either. Thor would always be on the side of Jane. And Tony would always be on the side of 'I couldn't fucking care less.' Which left Darcy all alone. Ugh. She tripped along sullenly for a few minutes, before noticing the blurry, dark, tall, majestic structure that rose in the distance, foreboding and mysterious. 'Guys! We made it!' She whooped, jumping for joy as best as she could with a fuzzy parka weighing her down.

Darcy vaguely heard the others laughing happily and congratulating each other. She couldn't care less.

To be honest, all Darcy wanted was a nice bed. And some food.

It also wouldn't hurt if the blueberry ice people were hot. She's not saying that she'd get with one, it's just that....yeah, she'd get with one.

'Darce, slow down!' She heard Jane call, and Darcy noticed with absentminded surprise that she was running. With difficulty, but she  _was_ running.

It was also really hard to run in knee-high snow, so she had to stop, like, three seconds in. 

And she also realized, after walking for ten minutes, that the castle wasn't getting any closer, prompting her to slow down and actually walk like a normal person. 

* * *

* * *

Darcy was officially done.

They had been walking for an hour after the initial sighting of the castle and Darcy was pretty sure she would never walk again after this. 

She was so exhausted, she didn't notice the transition from deep snow to hard ice, until she slipped and fell face first into the diamond-like surface.

Goddamnit, that hurt.

'Mortal, what business do you have in Jotunheim?' A voice boomed above her, and Darcy's head rose slowly up to peer at the enormous cobalt-blue being that towered above her.

 'Wassup?' She slurred, making a shaky peace sign. 'I'm Darcy Lewis of...Midgard' ( _It was Midgard, right? Or do they call it 'that other semi blue planet,' I wonder?)_

'Then you are with Prince Thor?' Frosty questioned, lowering the raised spear he held. Darcy hadn't even realized the giant  _had_ a spear.

'Yes, worthy Giant.' Thor had approached Darcy, without her noticing, and began to help her up. 'I am Thor Odinson, Crown Prince, as you well know. The Midgardians that accompany me are well known in Midgard; Tony Stark, (Tony just yelled 'hello,' absentmindedly tapping the huge chunk of ice jutting out from the snow-covered floor) My fiancee, Lady Jane Foster, (Jane had joined Tony) and,'

Here Thor pointed at Darcy, who was stumbling around, still a bit disoriented from her fall, 'Lady Jane's assistant, Lady Darcy Lewis.' 

Blueberry studied them for a few minutes, as if determining whether they were telling the truth, and then nodded silently, and lead them into the courtyard of the huge ice castle.

Darcy was excited now.

Did she mention that she really needed some food and rest?

 


	2. Chapter two: Arrogance is not appreciated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's people like him that remind Darcy of the lesson she learned in high school: school only teaches you how to somehow keep calm and not to slap a bitch.  
> Loki completely removed that lesson from her mind.  
> He was hot though.  
> She'd give him that.

The castle was amazing. It looked like Elsa's palace, except three times bigger and ten times cooler. And the  _giants._ Oh, the  _giants._

The towering Jotuns were much taller than anyone she had ever seen, and their exotic blue skin was an oddity that Darcy still wasn't used to, but found incredibly interesting.

She was so engrossed with the pointed, spear-like ice structures that Darcy didn't realize that her feet had been unconsciously carrying her further and further away from her group until she finally took her eyes off the runic-looking engravings on the tall ceiling and noticed that she was in an entire different wing of the palace.

 _Then again,_ Darcy reasoned,  _it's not like the intern has to be present to meet the king._

She would never admit it, but the title irked her for a reason she couldn't explain. However, she dismissed this unwelcome thought from her mind, and continued her explorations of the castle.

Her thoughts were so occupied with the fuck-awesome ice statues, ( _Holy hell those Jotuns didn't wear much)_ that she didn't notice the Jotun standing with his back to her until she smacked into the rock-hard muscle.

And promptly jumped away again, because of the burning cold that set her nerve endings aflame. 

Oh yeah, didn't Thor say that the Jotuns skin was so cold it would give you frostbite on prolonged contact? Darcy anxiously patted her face down, assured at the smooth skin that met her inspection.

'Well, well. What  _do_ we have here?' A cold voice drawled, and Darcy looked up, up, up, to face the giant that she had inevitably enraged.

_Ooh boy. Of course I manage to piss off the only cute giant with hair in the castle. Of course._

The frost giant that stood in front of Darcy was way smaller than the other Jotuns she'd seen, but still much taller than Darcy herself.

Instead of the usual sapphire skin, his was a lighter shade of dark blue, and the golden bangles that adorned the giants arms and legs only contributed to the iridescent sheen of his skin.

He was wearing only a loincloth made of the pelt of some silvery animal, with the same kind of fur decorating the Jotun's shoulders in an almost majestic way. His shoes were of a tough leather, and seemed to have serrated edges, the purpose of which she could assume were for keeping his footing on ice.

Not to mention the giant's face. ( _Darcy was sure she went to heaven)_

Lean and elegant, the Jotun's face consisted of sharp cheekbones and symmetrical features, with long, inky-black hair tumbling softly down, framing wary crimson eyes, cold and seeming to glow with magic.

(Didn't Jane or someone say 'magic' meant 'seðir' in Old Norse?)

The sigils that danced across his face were in delicate patterns, and yet they looked fitting to a warrior as well.

His hair parted only for the azure horns that curved up with an regal bearing, small compared to the giant's kin.

Altogether really, Darcy was drooling. Not that she'd ever admit to such an shameful accusation. (Because she wasn't)

'I repeat;' the Jotun asked again, eyes impatient, 'What do we have here?'

'I dunno,' Darcy's mouth supplied against her mind's will, 'Why don't you tell me? I'm pretty sure I don't look like a blueberry to you, huh?' 

The giant's eyes showed mild surprise at her words, while his face remained unchanged.

'Very well then, Mortal.' Frosty conceded. 'Who are you, and what are you doing here?' Here he raised an elegant eyebrow, and she decided that it wasn't fair how it could look so refined on him, and just look silly on her.

I'm Darcy Lewis, of middle earth. You?' She copied his earlier motion and raised an eyebrow, but at the look that crossed the giants face, she lowered it again, feeling ridiculous and settling for crossing her arms defensively.

'Middle earth?' He frowned, bemused. 'I've never heard of such a realm...tell me, Lady Darcy of Middle Earth..wherein does your world lie?' 

Darcy snorted, eyes glinting with disbelief.

'Let me guess. No Lord Of The Rings here?' At the Jotun's blank look, she sighed. 'No? It's a  _book,_ genius.' 

'Are you mocking me, Mortal?' The giant's face hardened. 'Me, Loki?'

Darcy scoffed. 'Nah, chill bro. I wasn't mocking anyone.'

'Now you make jests as to the temperature of my skin, _Darcy?'_ Loki sneered, and suddenly her name sounded ten times more common falling from his lips.

'It's an expression, idiot!' Darcy sneered right back, getting more and more pissed at the ridiculous banter by the second, because  _dayum_ this was escalating quickly.

She wasn't going to stop though, because honestly she couldn't remember the last time Jane had been coherent enough to actually argue intellectually with her, and she was not going to let this prissy Elsa-wannabe beat  _The Darcy Lewis_ in a smack talk showdown.

'I don't see any reason why I should continue this little conversation,  _Mortal,_ when all you seem capable of is spewing degrading comments from your mouth.' Loki snapped, eyes blazing and he pivoted on his heel to walk briskly away from a fuming Darcy.

Fuck no, Blue Kuzco.

Time to bring out the big guns.

'Listen, dude. I don't know if you are supposed to be a big deal here, _Loki,_ but I am Darcy Lewis and I can damn well mock you if you because you don't seem to know Tolkien and that in itself is abso-fucking-lutely wrong, but I'm also beginning to sense an unhealthy disrespect for us Midgardians. So yes,  _I am mocking you!'_ Darcy ranted, totally knowing that she was blowing up over a tiny, hardly existent problem, but she had an shitty day altogether, and this 'Loki' was texting her patience and her ability to keep calm and not slap a bitch.

Unaware, or uncaring of Loki's stunned face, Darcy stomped off to find Jane and the others, just wanting to get away from the arrogant Jotun.

Loki just gaped at her retreating back, rage mounting at the insignificant Midgardian who dared mock Prince Loki Laufeyson, Heir to Jotunheim, and next in line for the throne that his father, King Laufey currently sat in.

_How dare she?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are<3


	3. Chapter three: the author suddenly develops a sense of humor.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damn it Darcy

Darcy was really, really pissed.

Like, if she had to describe on a scale from one to ten, how pissy she was, it would be an eleven, because apparently, the Norse deities up in wherever the hell they lived, had decided to have a 'Lets Fuck Darcy Lewis Up' kinda day.

She was also so pissed at Loki, (Stupid name, 'Darcy' was much better), that she had immediately started making up names to call the stuck-up asshole when they next met.

So far, her favorites were;  _Blue Kuzco, Ice Ice Baby, Elsa-Wannabe, Bluberry Yogurt, Jon Snow,_ and  _BUY SOME FUCKING CLOTHES._

Also, don't give her any bullshit that 'Buy some fucking clothes' wasn't a nickname, because when someone needed to  _BUY SOME FUCKING CLOTHES_ , then yes, it did count as a nickname.

She was also very lost, which did not improve her mood. Darcy  _did_ have an walkie-talkie connected directly to Jane, for an occasion such as this, but she was an independent woman who did not need Jane to tell her where the throne room was.

So, Darcy trudged bravely on, depending mostly on her wonderful Jane-Radar to tell her where to go.

Wait, did she pass that door already?

She did, didn't she.

Shit, where'd Darcy's sense of direction (And Jane-Radar) go?!

* * *

Darcy did it. 

She made it to the throne room. And she only had to ask three Jotunar on the way.

However, Darcy mused as she froze her ass off, she could have kept in mind that they were planning to see the king in the evening. But noooooo, the number one rule of being Darcy Lewis is to forget anything you tell her.

So, naturally, she gets lost in a huge, cold, castle, meets a pompous asshole, and then comes an hour earlier than planned.

Being king must be lonely, Darcy sighed, looking around at the expanse of nothing and nobody that surrounded her.

The silence was also starting to get a bit deafening, so she decided that it would be a really, really awesome idea to act out a totally unrealistic scene where she meets Loki again, somehow, and he apologizes dramatically and over the top, because she was bored, and because she needed to sooth her hurt feelings. Apparently, that combo leads to dramatic, unrealistic reenactment of her wistful thinking.

Yes, that is what she was gonna do. Clearing her throat, she began.

"Oh, queen of the entire universe, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize my lowly self was in the presence of such a marvelous Netflix bing-watcher!" She sobbed dramatically, falling on her knees to the ice floor, internally wincing at the cold that penetrated her legs, even through her unholy layers.

But she would not get up. She was Darcy Lewis, damn it, and  _she was going to finish this reenactment._

 __Okay, well, the floor was getting colder, and she was pretty sure it was enough groveling.

She got up with some difficulty, (she's just qualified for the Olympics, she's sure) spun around to face the imaginary Loki, and pitched her voice to a slightly higher octave than usual. Just to, y'know, symbolize the difference in their voices.

"Well, Elsa-wannabe, I might forgive you, but you must go on a perilous journey to the store of Target, and deliver to me in great quantities, the delicacy known as  _Cookie Dough Ice Cream."_

 Darcy crossed to the other side of the room, and gasped as long and as loud as she could before passing out. "Of course, oh Dorito Queen! I shall do anything to regain your favor!"

Again, she speed walked across the room, and assumed a haughty air.

"Should you fail, NO SEX EVER AGAIN!" Darcy proclaimed with her nose stuck in the air as high as she could, before realizing one crucial flaw in her plan.

"But we're not even together, which means my threat is ineffective..." She trailed off, before looking around sneakily. "Shhh.." Darcy staged whispered for a fake audience.

Aaand, now for the bowing. Bow, bow, bow to the fake audience, sir back down, and freeze her ass off again.

"I was unaware I had such...relations to you Miss Lewis. Care to explain?" A suave voice purred in her ear, amusement coloring his voice, and Darcy realised that apparently the 'Fuck Darcy Lewis Up' day just earned a solid twelve in the suckage department.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are <3  
> And possibly my life force.  
> Please, let me live😁


End file.
